I have so many thoughts. i am a deep thinker, i may not show it much but if you ever see me, my mind is going a million miles a minute. With the end of every year, somehow i just get overwhelmed with emotion and just let it all out….3…2...1. Just like that a new year begins and it just ends after that brief second. Just like that.
2018,
First and foremost thank you for the challenges you have given me for they have made me a better person today. Thank you for the memories i might never get back. For the travels i’ve gone, and people i meet, thank you. Thank you for pushing me to pass that insanely difficult class (It was music. yes music. It was a 4000 level class and it was hard haha). Thank you for making me the first of my family to graduate college and going to puerto rico a few weeks after to make sure i gave my mom a ticket on her tombstone while giving her the Stole of Gratitude after not seeing you since we buried you. Rod and pops saved you a seat mom even if you wasn’t there. But i’m sorry 2018 for the mistakes i made. Learning from a mistake that i’ve made that so many people often overlook in the moment. for that i apologize deeply and sincerely. i’m sorry for any actions that were negative that should have been a moment of growth instead of feeding into it. i’m sorry for not living up to any expectations i set myself up. I’m sorry for letting my mental and physical health go unchecked and get worse, drowning when you’re breathing just fine. Im sorry.
So 2019 let this be a new year. a new year to grow and be the best person i can be towards myself because often we forget that we give so much back to others yet we don’t give enough back to ourselves. May we follow our dreams that so many regret ever wanting to do at this age when they are 50. May we not live in expectation but in inspiration and in simply being. May we all grind to get the thing we want the most. I know i am and it scares the shit out of me but i cant wait to fight for it no matter how long it takes.
Cheers to you 2019, Let go get this work.
Never Give Up- A
p.s i like using ellipsis…A LOT lol
My idea writing this was more of a letter or journal entry to myself that was meant to be seen by others. i might vent here randomly because maybe one day a person reading this can relate and know they aren’t alone as to how they might feel entering the new year or just how they feel. Please take care of yourself and mental well being.
